Happily Phoena

Okay, here’s the deal about me being so horribly politically uncorrect: The more people bitch about the “R” word (retards or ‘tards) the more I want to use those words. Like Ralphie May says, “If you’re offended by the word, you can’t be that retarded!”

I use the term to mock people who I think deserve it. Like everyone who claims to be “special” in some way and feels the need to announce their specialness to everyone. “Omg, I can’t be in the same room as a peanut! I’ll die!” Okay, you’re a peanut ‘tard. “Oh, I’m so depressed all the time and I have bi-polar issues!” Okay, you’re an emo ‘tard. “Oh, I’m an aspie/autistic.” Okay, you’re a regular ‘tard. Tards everywhere!

Yea, maybe I am horribly insensitive but I don’t like this trend where practically everyone claims they have something wrong with them as if it’s a Badge of Honor. I’m convinced at least half of these folks are faking it for attention/sympathy/to get out of stuff/excuse to be lazy or rude, etc. So if you want to fake some illness/handicap, then you really are a ‘tard. And for those who actually do have something wrong with them and they BRAG about it, well, that’s kinda ‘tardly, too. It’s like the deegee ‘tard over on my Rant’s Journal. Every time he comments he says, “I RETIRED AT AGE 45″ as if a) we can’t remember it from last time he posted, and b) as if it has any relevance to his comment (and it doesn’t). And likewise, people like to comment, “Hi, I’m new here and I’m an aspie,” and nine point nine times out of ten, that has no relevance to the comment. SHUT UP. I don’t need to know you’re an “aspie” idiot!

I come from a century where people who had something wrong with them did their best to BLEND IN and hoped people didn’t notice, not so much out of shame, but because they wanted to be treated like everyone else and didn’t want to be seen as “handicapped”. Yea, some things aren’t able to “hide” (wheelchair) but if one could blend in, they were proud of THAT, not bragging about their disorder. All these people today who like to announce their disorder are basically asking for special treatment by pointing out something that isn’t immediately obvious. That’s what I hate.

But back to the etymology of the word. People have made it clear they do not want the word “retard” to describe people who are mentally handicapped. Fine. No, great! That means the word is up for grabs to have a new meaning. Since it no longer means “mentally handicapped” people, let’s use it for people who aren’t mentally handicapped but ACT as if they were! So when I use the word “‘tard” to describe someone, I’m not insulting the “mentally handicapped” I’m insulting the idiot who acts mentally handicapped!! Got it? So people who are advocates for the “mentally handicapped” can stop thinking we’re insulting them SINCE WE’RE NOT. Okay? If they don’t get it, then they are ‘tards.

This whole, “We don’t want the word but we don’t want you to have it either,” is, well, RETARDED.

Along similar lines, when people get mad about the use of the word “gay” to mean “lame” I always roll my eyes. Gay originally meant “happy” or “cheerful” until homosexuals hijacked it to mean male homosexuals. If anyone should be upset about the misuse of the word “gay” it should be happy people! Don’t hijack a word, then cry when people hijack it from you!! *laugh* I don’t really use the word “gay” to mean “lame” but if I wanted to, I would, because they really have no ownership of the word.

Technically, the word “breeder” was hijacked, too, first by them and then by us (childfree). At least we use it correctly. Gays use “breeder” to mean all heteros, but we (childfree) are NOT breeding, so it’s kinda retarded to call us that.

That’s your politically-correct and etymology lesson for the day, boys and girls!

(Hubby thinks this should go on my Rants Journal, so with a couple of minor changes, I might just do that later this week. Sorry it might be a repeat!)

I just have to say it: If someone who clearly has issues doesn’t like you and talks smack about you online and it upsets you, why would you keep going back to read what what he says?!!

Someone I know had a big falling out with some douchebag. For months now, douchebag keeps bitching about her on his twitter. She continues to go see what he writes and then whines about it. Why go read it? Obviously he has serious problems that he WON’T LET IT DROP months later, but doesn’t this mean she also has problems that she won’t stop looking? And she can’t just let what he says go, either. She gets all worked up about it. WHY? If, say, some mommy/daddy blogger felt the need to bitch about me nonstop, and if it bothered me, I wouldn’t go look. Why continue to let the person get under my skin?

(In the sense of fairness, I’ll admit my family can get me upset, but I don’t go seeking out their crap, either. I even tell Mother to STOP TALKING ABOUT THEM to me. It doesn’t always work.)

This is mean and politically incorrect, yet amuses me:

I loved this Super Bowl ad! I don’t know why, I guess because I was surprised to see this group together acting silly.

It’s just fun.

Meant to post this several days ago, but then my internet went down and I never got around to it.

I wanted to watch the PBS series The Human Spark but I managed to only tape one of the three episodes, much to my disappointment. I don’t know how I screwed it up. Then I was thrilled to find out all three episodes are online! Oh good! I really enjoyed it. I’d buy the DVD but it is backordered, and besides, how many times would I really want to watch this?

It is a series hosted by Alan Alda (who doesn’t love Alan Alda?!) talking about how our brains work and developed. It’s fascinating. It’s certainly not something Christians would approve of, since it’s pro-evolution, talks about our early ancestors who were “pre-human” and even compares our brains to brains of animals like chimps! (The horrors!)

I was surprised that they dared to subtly suggest that infants don’t possess what it is that makes us human and differentiates from animals… that sometime around the time that we can understand complex sentence structure (“Take this doll and put it in the third bucket”) is what is the “human spark” and what makes us human. Not only would that offend Christians and their pro-life shit, but it would offend emo breeders who have a severely retarded child, suggesting that he’s not fully human. For some reason that makes me giggle.

I have some sort of Digg thing installed which has headlines pop up in the corner of my screen now and then, and sometimes I read them, mostly I ignore them. Earlier in the week there was one on the Conan-Jay Leno drama, so I clicked and read. The article was stupid and I think was supposed to be somewhat sarcastic, and was all about starting a rumor that Jay Leno was being a “big baby” because he was shafted in a Oprah.com opinion poll. Who cares? But all the commenters to the Digg article were “JAY SUX CONAN RULES” and it was so lame, so I offered up my opinion, which basically said:

Conan got paid $45 million for failure and he’s still crying! There are a lot of people who got laid off in this economy even though they did a *good* job, and they aren’t getting paid $45 million. Conan got paid royally and needs to stop whining!

I left my comment and went on with my life. Turns out, I pissed off a lot of Diggers by not siding with their favorite cry-baby. My inbox suddenly filled up with replies from Digg. I didn’t even know you got replies in your inbox from Digg!! I comment so infrequently and never got replies before! I’d forgotten about the whole thing until my inbox was flooded. *laugh* I went back to the thread to read, and anyone who sided with Leno got flooded with “thumbs down” ratings and anyone who sided with Conan had been flooded with “thumbs up” ratings. God, where were all these emo Conan fanbois when his show was on the air? They obviously weren’t watching it! Sheesh.

Well, I’ll stop beating that dead horse to death. But even if I liked Conan before, I can’t stand his underhanded smear campaign just to distract people from his big failure and windfall. He’s slime.

Watched another episode of Carnie Wilson’s show and it was the worst yet. She and her husband were whining about their sex life. She was whining he doesn’t tell her she’s beautiful enough now that she’s fat, and he insists he tells her all the time but she won’t be satisfied unless he tells her every minute, or something like that. They were acting like children! They wasted money (while they claim they are totally broke) to go to a sex therapist to whine about this stuff. Yea, I suppose some of it was just staged for the show, but it wasn’t even good staging as it was BORING as HELL. If they really do have these problems, they are both idiots. Marriage is not that hard. People just make it hard by being stupid.

Here’s the rules of marriage (or any relationship really):

**If you have a problem, say something – without name-calling or personal attacks. How is the other person supposed to know if you don’t say anything?! We’re not mind readers!
**If someone apologizes, accept it! Don’t hold out for groveling at your feet!
**Don’t keep score! Just don’t. Unless one person is just 100% taker, and in that case, don’t start a relationship with that person in the first place.
**Don’t expect everything to be totally even!
**Compliment each other often. Don’t take each other for granted.
**Choose your battles. Try not to criticize unless it’s a big deal.
**Recognize your own strengths and weaknesses as well as the other person’s and run with it.
**Be considerate of others!!
**Contribute something to the relationship!
**Don’t make everything about YOU.

Is that so hard to understand?! Geez.

There are two (public) super bowl parties on post today. I’m not big on football, but Hubby is, and lately we’ve been doing our own thing too often, so I agreed to go with him to watch the game although mostly I’ll be reading my books. I will bring my Touch and work on my ebook until I lose power, and then I’ll work on reading the other book.

The party I would choose is the blissfully ADULTS ONLY party at the bar. I know a bunch of drunks can be rowdy, but they make them smoke outside and they are still less obnoxious than screaming brats running around.

The other party is “Fambily Friendily” and they plan to give out door prizes and have some kind of trivia giveaways, I guess. I don’t know what all else. Of course, Hubby wants to go there and try to win something. *eyeroll* So we agreed to start there and if the kids are really, really bad (which of course they will be — people refuse to control their kids anymore), we’ll leave and go over to the bar. I don’t even know why people think the superbowl is for little kids, but people are fucking stupid.

I bet they’ll throw the game for the Saints since everyone is supposed to feel sorry for New Orleans (and now Haiti, too) for the next 100 years. Gag. I hope the Colts win instead.

I just finished reading I Hate Other People’s Kids by actresss/commedian Adrianne Frost, another fairly short, childfree-topic book I borrowed from a friend. This is book #6 of the year.

First of all, I hated the cheap binding on the book. I don’t know how to describe it but it was bound differently from other books, so every time I turned a page I was afraid if I opened it too wide, the pages would fall out, and this especially distresses me when it’s a borrowed book!

I found the first section (“Identifying the Enemy”) of the book to be ridiculous and dreary and I almost gave up on finishing hte book because I wasn’t sure I could stand it. The “humor” was such ridiculous hyperbole that it wasn’t funny anymore. I saw some people had complained the book was “too mean-spirited” but those people are extremely dumb and blind. The parts that were “mean-spirited” were meant to be funny. Here is an example, talking about how to deal with unruly children in stores:

What a relief it would be to have a designated area to contain children! Instead of Playland, it would be Stayland. I envision a kiddie coral, surrounded by mildly electric-fencing in bright yellow and red. The jolts would be just enough to warn them, but not enough to hurt them. …Children of all ages would roam, free range, in the roundup, like little calves. If they got too rambunctious, they’d be roped and hog-tied with silly string.

It wasn’t funny, even though the author thought it was.

Once I got to sections two and three (“Public Places” and “Private Places”) the book got a little less ridiculous and went over a lot of the things we childfree people complain about. Here is an example, about kids at the movie theater:

You walk into the theater [of a horror movie] and it’s filled with families. The Motion Picture Association of America’s rating system is apparently moot, because John and Joan Q Public have brought their toddlers to see sex, violence, and mayhem on the big screen. Come on, people. There’s a reason kids’ movies are eighty minutes long! That’s all they can tolerate!

And of course, the best advice ever:

TAKE YOUR KIDS OUT OF THE FRIGGIN’ THEATER AND WAIT FOR THE DVD!

While I might occasionally have sympathy for parents in the grocery store (although I still think they can find someone else to watch the kids while they run to the store — it’s not like they don’t know anyone else in town!) I have ZERO sympathy for parents who take their kids to the movies becuase neither the parents nor the kids NEED to be there, and if they think they just HAVE to see the movie, they can rent it on DVD for much cheaper. DUH.

The final section “How to deal” starts to get back to the stupidness of the first section, but never gets quite as bad.

Overall I liked the middle part of the book, but the beginning, especially, could really turn someone off before they get to the good part.

I’ve read better childfree books, but this one wasn’t a complete waste of time, either.
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Up next: I’m still working on The Pillars of the Earth which is good, but I’m taking my time with it, making it last! I’m also starting my Black History Month book: Capitol Men by Philip Dray. Every February I try to read a book about black history!)

It’s been a stressful week. Worrying about that poor, sweet cat, and problems with the volunteer position that led me to quit, one of my webhosts giving me crap and bouncing my emails, and generally second guessing all my decisions. *sigh*

I got three fan emails in the last couple of days for my HCF website. Fun! Two were childfree people saying how grateful they are for my site, how much they love it, etc. and one was from a mom saying how much she hates the kinds of moms I describe. As much as I love these emails, what I really long for is an email from a parent who writes to say she agrees with some stuff on my site but politely disagrees with other parts and really good reasons why. I’d love to have someone challenge me with good points!

Instead, I either get the hate mails, “OMG your such a looser your a bitter, sad pathetec person!” or “I really feel sorry for you, but I think you need to stop harping on breastfeeding. I HAVE to breastfeed in public because my kid must eat every 15 minutes and you know I get bored at home so I HAVE to go shopping from 9-5. You dumbass!” That’s so stupid! I have yet to have someone give me a really, legitimate, bullet proof reason that they MUST breastfeed in public. Even the gal who told me, “Well, we were moving across country and the kid had to eat!” There were still alternatives to flopping a breast out in the store!

And the people who argue with me that I have issues because I don’t want to see other women’s boobs… hey, I’ve said go ahead and flip them out in public. It’s just that many of us will think it’s pretty trashy if you do. If you’re okay with that, go for it. I was raised in a class of people believe in having some modesty, and who felt that only trashy, low class people would expose themselves in public.

Anyway, I have 268 fans on Facebook. This amuses me. It goes up every day! I wonder when it’ll top out and the number will start going back down? I won’t cry or anything, I’m just curious.

I posted a new rant yesterday taking on infertiles and their never-ending whining. I swear, do infertiles ever shut up? Is there nothing they won’t complain about? They are biggest martyrs! So essentially my post was about how they whine about everything and I JUST KNOW that some angry breeder or infertile will, eventually, comment on that rant that, “Well, you childfree people whine about everything, too!!” And if that ever happens, I’ll say, “That’s because our problem of badly-behaving kids and parents in public happens all the time, everywhere, and we can’t get away from it. We don’t have voo doo doctors who can solve our problems as easily as infertiles do!” ha! In my rant I even pointed out that infertiles continue to complain even after they get pregnant and have kids. !!! If I ever got a world where kids were forced to behave and stay out of certain places, I wouldn’t still be complaining about it, trust me!

The story about the infertile raping my ear is ABSOLUTELY TRUE, it happened about a week ago and I’m still traumatized.

I suppose I should do an update on my New Year’s Resolutions right about now, but I’m not going to, so there. Suffice to say I’m being terrible about all of it. I have wanted to do some writing the last day or so but I’m sort of at a loss of where to start up again. A big part of me just wants to REWRITE EVERYTHING and see what new good stuff comes up and that seems ridiculous and yet, oddly tempting. I could always combine stuff from each version later… Really tempting.

So I want to write today, but first I have to do some web design work I’ve put off all week (no good reason, just avoidance, which goes against my NY Resolution!!!), and some various housework things that aren’t pressing but I should get them done since tomorrow we’re going to a super bowl party. I also wanted to finish another short book I’m reading so I can start a new one tomorrow. (Pillars of the Earth is on my Touch, and I know I’ll get bored during the game, and even with my backup battery my Touch won’t last umpteen hours, so I’ll need a backup book to read, and the one I’m reading now I’m too close to being done with to last too long tomorrow. As if you wanted the whole complicated story!) Anyway, after all that, I might get around to writing today.

I feel like shit today (joys of being a woman) so I’ll be surprised if I get anything done at all.

Oh and I still want to go rescue that cat from the pound, although I’m sure it’s absolutely the wrong thing to do. Funny how I can’t feel much sympathy for humans, but I’m such a sucker for a sweet cat.

Starbucks was giving away their new snack bars today, so of course I was there! It’s called the Kind Bar, and it’s made for people who are allergic to everything. (As I said on twitter and Facebook, It’s like a Special Ed bar!!) It’s a fruit and nut bar, and the packaging says:

GLUTEN FREE!
WHEAT FREE!
DAIRY FREE!
CHOLESTEROL FREE!
LOW GI!
NON GMO!
NO SULPHUR DIOXIDE!
NO TRANS FAT!

I have no idea what GI and GMO are, or who the hell is allergic to them.

I guess I’m supposed to be impressed that Starbucks cares about all the people who have real or imagined food allergies, but I feel weird eating something that is made for people who can’t digest normal food. My system isn’t that sensitive. I can eat real food. I’m proud I can eat real food! I swear, these stupid mothers these days all claim their little ‘tards are allergic to EVERYTHING and it’s ridiculous. And if they really are allergic to food, maybe that’s Darwinism! When I was a kid, no one would die from eating wheat or dairy! Dumbass moos.

So while the bar tasted okay, only maybe a little bland, I’m not sure I’d PAY for something that was made with god only knows what to make up for not being able to use real ingredients because everyone’s special snowflakes are “allergic” to real food.

(I know this is kinda silly, since I will eat Cheetos which is made with who knows what and aren’t healthy, but at least Cheetos don’t have to have strange milk and wheat substitutes in it! Who knows what those are made of?)

I’ve felt guilty about that cat all night since letting animal control take him away. At least he’s in out of the rain (it’s raining today) but who knows what sickness he’s picking up at the pound! Still, I know I couldn’t take him in. He’s SO sweet, though. I hope he finds a good home.

I used to LOVE General Hospital back in the late 90s and I watched it for a few years after that as well, but it got so bad I gave it (and all soaps) up a few years ago. But I still read Serial Drama blog once in a while to be amused that them mocking how bad General Hospital is, thus I’ve somewhat of kept up with what’s going on with the show.

Last week they said that the Monday episode was so good, so I tuned in to the weekend marathon on Sunday and then I taped yesterday’s episode as well, just to watch a little more of the trainwreck, and of the many things wrong with the show, here are a couple of the biggest:

The head writer apparently gets weekly blow jobs from the “actor” Maurice Benard because his character is written as if he’d GOD and the world revolves around him, even though Maurice Benard could not act to save his life. All he is capable of doing is his “Yea, whatever, I’m so much cooler than you are so you don’t matter” routine or his “You fucking filthy slut” routine (which he says to every woman he nails, and he nails them all) and his “I’m going to kill you motherfucker!” routine, which he does to scare/intimidate all the guys. It’s so lame. Regardless, I don’t know why anyone would keep on an actor who was this poor of an actor for so long unless he was getting weekly blow jobs from the guy, and even worse is how he would make the whole show revolve around the horrible actor and even worse, why he would make the character so despicable and yet expect the rest of the cast as well as the audience to worship him as if he was a hero. Seriously, Maurice Benard has got to be giving the guy blow jobs or more.

Here’s how horrible, despicable and unbelievable this character/show is: He’s an evil, egotistical, woman-hating mob boss, and on Friday’s episode, he shot a young man in his own living room (unlikely — mob bosses wouldn’t do that — that’s a good way to fry for the crime). He decided this man had “betrayed” him and wanted him dead. Two seconds later, a woman runs in and screams, “YOU JUST SHOT YOUR OWN SON!” I don’t know why this character doesn’t just assume everyone is his child since he fucks every woman he meets and has impregnated more women than Tiger Woods has porked, so he should assume everyone under 32 is his child, because the likelihood is high.

The character is such an unsuccessful mob boss that he was unable to kill the guy (his umpteenth son) at close range, so he put down the gun and called for an ambulance so the kid would be rushed to the hospital. (again, unlikely – that’s a good way to fry for the crime.) Suddenly, knowing the man is his son, the mob boss has a total change of heart. Oh, it’s okay that he was “betrayed” — it’s his flesh and blood! Oh, now he is gleefully happy to find out that his seed has been sown some more, YAY.

At the hospital, he calls for his two favorite doctors and tells them, “My son has been shot.” As if he would immediately start referring to the guy as his “son” especially to people who wouldn’t have a frame of reference for that, thinking it was one of his other sons, you know? The writing is so bad!

Meanwhile, the police show up at the hospital when they find out about a shooting victim, and yet then they just sit around, doing nothing, no investigation and the mob boss is not taken into custody or even in for questions when it’s clear he was the culprit! More importantly, before all this, there was another warrant out for the mob-bosses arrest (and was the reason he was trying to kill his son – they were going to arrest him for the murder of his latest wife), and none of the cops move to arrest him on this outstanding warrant! HOW RIDICULOUS! And now the Sainted Mob Boss will get away with his crimes YET AGAIN even when there are so many reasons the cops should be able to easily put him away.

I HATE this show.

I know you’re thinking, “Why are you even watching the show then?” Good question. I guess I’ll stop again. But I hate it the way I hate Army Wives and I watch it for the fun of mocking it and pointing out it’s SERIOUS flaws, I guess.