Happily Phoena

My cousin with 2 1/2 kids under 5 updated his facebook status last night to say, “Is it Monday yet?” Well, isn’t that a childfree advertisement? Most people love the weekends but if you have two small kids and a knocked-up wife, you can’t wait for the weekend to be over so you can escape!

I’m so amused.

In other news, in Thursday’s city paper, they put in a flyer with KFC coupons in it, but our paper ended up with three of the flyers. Then I picked up the THursdays post paper and got another sheet of the coupons. So I now have 32 KFC coupons and I’m not a big KFC fan. Why does the universe think I should start eating at KFC?

We might do Museum Day this afternoon, if we get around to it. I’m feeling kind of lazy right now. Hopefully I’ll feel less lazy this afternoon.

The childfree communities on LJ are mostly just teen-fests and I finally got sick of them and quit reading them. The only one I still read (and mostly ignore) is the “CF 30+” community, for people over 30. Sometimes they let in people under 30 but I don’t know why — why make a rule if you’re not going to follow it? Why the hell can’t kids today (even 20-something kids) just wait until they are old enough to do stuff — they just have to break alll the rules!

So today a 24 year old joins and posts her intro. She could have just told us she’s a little under 30 and left it at that, but she didn’t. OKay, fine. But then she was totally attention whoring with the whole, “We’ve been married since June 2, 2007.” What, does she want us to all run out and write it on our calendar so we can send her a card? I mean, really! “I’ve been married just over a year” would be good enough. Giving us the exact date is just obnoxious! No one cares which day is your wedding anniversary. More importantly, any of us who have been married several years just roll our eyes at newlyweds who act all accomplished about how long they’ve been married. I always say, “Come back when you’ve lasted 10 years or more and we’ll talk.” Like those “Just Married” cars — well, bully for you. ANYONE can get married. It takes some real work to LAST.

Anyway, I have the feeling our newest member over in the “CF 30+” community is just too immature for the group. But it doesn’t matter since I mostly ignore them.

They still haven’t fired that huge fuck-up at work and I’m really pissed about it. Last week it seemed that it was the final straw and he was gone, but then this week I find out they are keeping him! It’s driving me nuts! If I didn’t love everything else about the place so much, I’d quit. Luckily I don’t work directly with him but I seriously want to know whose dick he is sucking to keep the job because he sucks at everything else.

But let’s talk about something that doesn’t piss me off so much: I’m really bored with The Biggest Loser. I don’t know why I used to like it. I guess I liked the cast, but this year I’m not interested in any of them. The only one I kind of like is the blonde girl who reminds me (vaguely, but it’s there) of a fat Reese Weatherspoon. The rest I’m bored with. I’m bored with the in-show commercials. The many regular commercials. The boring last chance workouts.

Last season I was annoyed with Lipstick Jungle but I’m tuning in again tomorrow so I can be disgusted some more. I am desperate for a prime time soap opera, apparently. I wish there was something like Knots Landing on these days. I remember how my mother and I LOVED Knots and watched it together when I was a teen. I think it was the only show we ever agreed on. Probably the only THING we agreed on.

I want to get the Sex and the City movie DVD but I don’t know why. I don’t even watch the DVDs I already have, so I hardly need another. I guess I want it just to have it, which is a stupid reason to get it.

I finished the book Best Friends and was disappointed. I kind of figured out about half-way through that there was no real story arc, but I still kind of liked it. I don’t know why, though. It wasn’t horrible, but it was full of flaws. Still, the writing was easy and kept me entertained, even though there ended up being pointless and left me thinking, “Huh?” when it was over. Oh well.

Now I’m reading a childfree book that I should have read years ago if I was a “good” childfree person. Baby Boon by Elinor Burkett. I borrowed it from Deb and if she’s lucky, she’ll get it back. Ha ha!

So I went to visit Deb and Sarah this weekend. This means I raided Deb’s book shelf and stole three books that I may or may not get read by the time I go back up there next month. Two of the books I really want to read and the third I took just in case I got the other two done real quickly. This means I need to quickly finish the book I’m working on (Best Friends). It’s a good book and an interesting read, but I’m not really sure if it’s going anywhere. It’s a book about the lives of two best friends and tells what goes on in their lives year by year, but there really isn’t a story arc. I like it, and yet it’s just different. Well, I’m almost through with it. Then I can dive into the books I snared from Deb’s library.

TiVo taped something called “The Science of Babies” and I’m wondering if this is something I’d find absolutely annoying or actually a bit interesting. I’m not a fan of babies, but I’m not entirely against learning more about their development, especially if it teaches me stuff I can use against their bimbo parents who act like children are dumber and more helpless than they pretend. (Such as when they are all, “Shut up bich u don no ne ting bout babys. They nede 2 eat evry 15 min until they r 2 yrs old or they starv to deth so i hev 2 brestfeed in publick all da time! u just an ignerent bich!” *eyeroll*)

Fark headline: He’s been run over by a tank, had a jet fighter crash into his bedroom while he slept, and been bombed twice. Meet Britain’s luckiest man

Fark comment: I don’t think that word means what you think.

I was snubbed on facebook!

When I was growing up, there was a family of three sisters living in my neighborhood and I was friends with them. One was a little older than me, one was a little younger than me, and one was a little younger than that. I mostly hung out with the older two, being right in the middle of their ages, but sometimes we hung out with the youngest one as well.

The oldest and youngest sisters were very sweet and I remember wishing I could be as sweet as they were. I was a well-behaved kid — often called a “goodie-two-shoes” by the boys — but no one ever accused me of being sweet.

The middle sister was more of a game player and she’d play hot and cold with me - sometimes acting like my bestest friend and other times blowing me off for “cooler” people (kids who smoke, drank and broke curfew all the time. I was too “lame” to do all that stuff). She never really could figure out if she wanted to be a “bad” girl or a “good” girl, so she kept flitting back and forth between us.

Since I got the hell out of Dodge and haven’t looked back, I’ve hardly kept in touch with anyone from my home town. I have, however, kept in touch with the oldest sister. I haven’t spoken to her in about a year, but we exchange letters or phone calls once or twice a year. I haven’t heard from her for a while so I decided to look her up on facebook. I couldn’t find her.

Next I looked for the middle sister, but I didn’t find her, either. But she’s married now and I don’t know her married name, so she might be on facebook, just under a different name.

I DID, however, find the third sister on facebook. I sent an add request and asked how she was doing and how her sisters are doing. That was about three weeks ago and she hasn’t responded. She snubbed me!

It would have expected the middle sister to play that game, but not one of the sweet sisters. I’m a little offended. Now if only I had the chance to snub her back!! That would make me feel better!! (I’m petty enough to enjoy cheap revenge).

(For the record, no, it wasn’t my childfree facebook account that I used to add her. I used my toned-down facebook to add her, so as not to offend her. Still, apparently just my mere existence offends her!)

Of course, it’s possible she no longer uses facebook, but one would think she’d still have gotten the email. I think she still uses facebook, she’s just snubbing me.

(Never mind this entry, I’m just being silly. I’m not really mad or upset or anything. Don’t take my entries too seriously.)

So I read “Summer Sisters” by Judy Blume and it was okay. I liked most of it, but I hated the rushed and breederiffic ending, which essentially went like this: “So the whole gang grew up, had a bunch of kids and lived happily ever after. So-and-so had three kids, and so-and-so had one, and so-and-so had 2 kids and planned on more…” Why not tell us what they DID with their lives, not how many brats they had? It just felt insulting to the characters.

The other thing I hate is how the book had to follow the “formula” and have the main character end up with someone from her childhood, just not the one you originally thought she’d end up with. Lame! Why does it HAVE to be someone from her childhood that she marries, just to wrap it up in a neat bow? She refused to marry him, despite loving him, because she wanted a career and a life and didn’t want to live on the island for the rest of her life (which he did). But then when she gets together with this other guy, then she wants to give up her career and spend the rest of her life on the island. So she really didn’t have a reason to reject the first guy? And why does the woman HAVE to give up her career once she falls in love and has a baby? It’s frustrating.

And of course, as any good formula novel/movie goes, she had to have the opportunity to date a really rich guy (because the heroine is always so lovely she can hob-nob with the rich and famous easily and be accepted by them) but then turn him down, to prove she’s a “good” person — not just a greedy gold-digger. It’s just like the last book where she had the opportunity to date a really wealthy man but then turned him down because LOVE is so much more important than money. Not that I wanted either woman to end up with the rich guys in the story, but I just hate the underlying message there in many books and movies. As if “rich” is somehow “bad” or that rich people can’t have good, happy, loving marriages. Eh, maybe I’m just rambling now.

I am tearing the book to shreds here, but I don’t mean to. It was a fairly good read. I certainly didn’t hate it, just aspects of it bothered me a bit.

I’ve moved on to another book “Best Friends” by Martha Moody and I think I’ll spend the evening getting a good start on it.

And Hole in The Wall starts tonight which sounds like it’ll be hysterically stupid so I’ll be tuning in for that. Maybe it’ll turn out to be good, but I just can’t imagine how.

Normally I try to avoid talking about my relatives much but what the hell. If they snoop around looking for my website and find it, they deserve what they get. Besides, the relatives I like to mock are so stupid, they probably can’t figure out how to surf the net to find my site. And if they DID find my site, even if my photo was on it they’d be too dumb to figure it out. They’d

Most of the idiots are too dumb to surf the next, anyway, and even if they did find my site and I posted my picture on it, they are so dumb they’d say

One particular sister of mine is an idiot. She’s so dumb she can’t figure out what Movie and Video Game ratings mean. I’m serious. She bought the game Crazy Taxi once and then complained it had “filthy” language in it. It turns out the only filthy language in it was that occasionally the characters used the word “suck” as in “You suck.” And then I looked at the box the game came in and I swear it said “Rated T for Teen. Mild language.” I’m not even sure that “suck” is a swear word, anyway, but the rating label clearly said there was mild language in it. I pointed it out to her and she said, “Well, how was I supposed to see that! It’s so small!” Well, that’s the point of the labels — so you look for them and read them if you’ve got serious hang-ups. DUH.

We had a similar conversation about movies. She was horrified at the “filth” that the library lets you rent. She listed the names of some of the movies and I told her, “Well, those are Rated R movies. If you don’t like the content, don’t rent Rated R movies.” She said, “Well, how am I supposed to know which Rated R movies are for families and which ones aren’t?” I thought she was joking for a minute but she’s actually that dumb. I said, “None of them are for families. Don’t rent Rated R movies.” Seriously, that dingbat is offended by EVERYTHING. Don’t show her any skin at all or she’ll think you’re a whore. Don’t say the word “suck” or “sex” or she’ll think you’re a potty mouth. (Even if you are saying sex in a non dirty way.) Don’t even mention homosexuality or she’ll start making dry heaving noises and cluck for 20 minutes about how disgusting that is. She’s crazy and stupid. Obviously she’s a republican.

I guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Dingbat’s daughter wanted to show me a picture of herself and instead of scanning it like smart people would do, she took a photo of the photo! Trust me, this isn’t a little kid, either. She’s all grown up now, but she’s still a dim bulb.

My parents are pretty smart people so I don’t know how my sister turned out so stupid. I guess with my sister and her husband being as dumb as they are, it’s not surprise their daughter rides the short bus. I guess my sister was deprived of oxygen when she was born because she’s dumb as a rock.

I’ve come to the conclusion that Republicans would vote for a duck if it was on the Republican ticket. Seriously, there are so many reasons that anyone with half a brain wouldn’t ever vote for Palin. I would have expcted more Republicans saying, “McCain needs to be replaced on this ticket because he’s obviously senile!” rather than saying, “Wait, what? He can’t elect a woman? Oh wait, we couldn’t possibly vote for a Democrat or an African-American, could we? I guess McCain and his crappy VP choice are all we got. Oh well. YAY! MCCAIN-PALIN!”

I hate to make it about race but let’s face it, people wouldn’t be making up huge lies about Obama like that he’s a muslim and he’s a terrorist and that he’s Osama Bin Laden if not for his race. They never said those things about former Democratic nominees who happened to be white! I can’t imagine there is any other reason for this dispictible behavior by the Republicans except that, they are, as I’ve always suspected, racist. My own family members who happen to be Republican and racists. Oh, they’ll be just polite enough to me and my husband but then behind our backs they say shit like, “It’s so refreshing to see one of them behave so well.” or “Well, he’s one of the good ones.” Assholes.

Of course, my Republican relatives, much like Palin, say “No sex before marriage!” and then turn around and celebrate and reward teen and unwed motherhood as if it’s a sacrament, and then turn around and hate on those of us in the family who don’t have babies even IN wedlock. Republicans make my stomach turn. What small-minded idiots they are.

Despite my love of books, my reading comprehension sucks. The book sale turned out not to be a book sale. The flyer I saw said it was a sale by the library, so I stopped reading there, I guess, and assumed it was a book sale. No, it was a yard sale, or more accurately, a junk sale. Oh well.

So I stopped by Goodwill to look over their vast book collection, and picked up a couple of books. Rather, I limited myself to two books. Heh heh.

I finished “Fourplay” and found that while I loved the book in the beginning, the second half of the book was lame, boring and predictable. I hate when books do that!

I started “Summer Sisters” by Judy Blume and so far it’s cute. I had it in my hand when I stopped by my husband’s office yesterday and one of his co-workers started teasing me for reading kids books. I wasn’t embarrassed or offended, but it did make me think she must be retarded. Just looking at the book you can see it’s not a children’s book or even young adult fiction. It’s a regular, grown-up novel. How can she not tell the difference? If I’d been reading “Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing” I could see her laughing at me, but this isn’t “Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing.”

One of the books I picked up today at Goodwill is another Judy Blume (grown-up) novel, “Wifey”. I don’t know if it’s any good, but I’ll find out, won’t I?

I just LOVE the new Jordin Sparks song, “One Step at a Time”. Rosalie thinks that makes me 14-years-old. Oh, whatever! So I like cute little pop songs! And pony tails, and glitter face paint, Sims, iridescence, giggling hysterically over stupid jokes and Judy Blume novels. That doesn’t make me 14-years-old! It makes me about 10.

Besides, thirty-somethings who watch 90210 and One Tree Hill really shouldn’t be casting stones. HA!