These rants are brought to you by STFU Parents and Facebook.

First of all, some mommy whines that the waitstaff at restaurants call her baby a “half” when talking about how many needed at a table. (i.e. Mom and Dad plus baby equals 2.5)

Funny how these mothers never have a problem paying half price for their kids, but suddenly half is an insult? Mommies in the thread even point out that their kids take up as much room and eat about as much and are just as loud (if not louder) than grown people. Good, glad they are admitting it. Let this be a lesson to you mommies then: you don’t want your kid called a “half” and you acknowledge they take the same space/food/noise-equivalent as anyone else? Start paying full price for them then! Glad we cleared that up!

Next, STFU Parents alerted me to this Facebook exchange under a TV Station’s fan page (the post was on January 7 if you want to go back and find it). Highly amusing! STFU Parents did not show the whole exchange, so I will post it here. (STFU Parents obscures last names for good reason, but I didn’t bother because this is on a public fan page and anyone can find the names as easily as I just did, so obscuring the names seemed pointless. These people already put their names out there in the public so it’s not like I’m “outing” them or anything.)

WTTW Channel 11 Don’t forget, “An Evening with Emma” on January 12 in anticipation of the premiere of the new adaptation of Jane Austen’s comic masterpiece! Join us to watch the first hour followed by a discussion. Admission is FREE and is first-come, first-served at 6pm at the Pritzker Auditorium of the Harold Washington Library.

Janet Woo Why couldn’t there also have been one session in the a.m. so mommy types could go while the kids are in school? Try as I may, the kids simply don’t like Austen as much as I do, and I don’t think you want a 9 and 11 yo in the audience!

Heidi McReynolds There are helpful people called babysitters to watch children in the evening while adults go out to adult events.

Teri Rotondo Tracey Amen Heidi!

Monica Bhopatkar Teredesai In this day and age, some people may not want to spend money on helpful people called baby sitters- Just another perspective…

Diane O’Neill Thanks for offering that perspective, Monica! When my now 18-year-old son was little, I could barely afford child care for when I was working, never mind for fun events. I suspect a lot of parents nowadays are in the same financial boat–and it isn’t always that easy to find a babysitter you can trust.

Heidi McReynolds I follow Miss Manner’s advice. If you can’t afford a babysitter, send your regrets to that black tie wedding. If you can’t afford to tip, don’t go out to dinner. I sympathize with stretched parents, but there is always a way to find more money. If you find you can’t afford a night out, cancel your cable or cut back on your cell phone plan. Use the public library for movies instead of netflix and to borrow instead of buying Emma whenever you want to reread it. If you are lucky enough to have family living in the area, arrange a sleepover at the Grandparent’s home if you don’t trust babysitters.

Is it possible to become a fan of this Heidi McReynolds on facebook? Someone start the page and I’ll be there! I’m a fan!!

I love Monica’s “in this day and age” people can’t afford babysitter’s defense, since everyone I know with kids, especially the ones who cry broke the loudest, has every video gaming system known to man, web surfing cell phones and bluray DVD players in every room of the house and every vehicle. Most people have more money than they want to admit, they just don’t want to give up all their “fun money” to be responsible. Hey, it’s true.

Diane complains that it’s not always easy to find a babysitter you can trust. I hate that line! It’s the worst!
First off, these women act like the children’s fathers can’t possibly watch them. I have very, very little respect for women who have children with men who are too irresponsible to be fathers! These women can’t ALL be widowed, and all the fathers can’t be incapable of watching them. Come on! I don’t care if you’re divorced and if it’s not “his” night for the kids. Maybe he’d like to have his kids more often and even if he doesn’t, he should step up and parent his kids once in a while!

You know, if a childfree person rants about bad parents out there, this is the very type of person who will complain, “You can’t judge parents! You can’t tell people they don’t have the right to be parents!” because they want to assume all (or most) parents are good parents, everyone should have kids and yet never be criticized. YET when you suggest they get a babysitter (like say another parent) they say, “I can’t trust any of those other parents!!1!” So they are judging all those other parents to be totally inept and unfit, but if we do it, they tell us we’re wrong. Which way is it? You can’t have it both ways!

I just cannot imagine that these people have no relatives or friends who can babysit for them. It’s bullshit. If they are refusing to develop a relationship with anyone else in their community, that’s THEIR fault. And if they do know a lot of people but suspect everyone they associate with are horrible people you can’t trust, then I suggest they get a better class of friends.

And in other Facebook news, I’ve found that some of the moms I’m friends with are posting these tidbits on each others’ profiles:

Sometimes you just need to hear it… You are a beautiful woman, inside & out. You are an exquisite mother, who can make a way out of no way,YOU ARE A GREAT MOM!!! You are doing a fantastic job and are very loved!!! ♥♥♥♥♥ Post this on the wall of 10 moms- Mom’s (sic) who always put their kids first and who balance it all! I just did….

Wait, aren’t these the same women that you can’t trust to babysit your kids? *snort*

Mommies post this crap on other mommies’ profiles even if the mom in question is an idiot who isn’t a great mom, isn’t doing a fantastic job, doesn’t always put her kids first and doesn’t balance it all. But of course, even though motherhood is SO worth it and SO rewarding, they still need pointless platitudes like this to get them through the day. Gee, guess motherhood isn’t its own reward, huh?

This got me to thinking about how they pass these things around to mommies only. I’ve gotten into arguments with mommies before where they would say things like, “We women should support each other! You shouldn’t be hating on women! We all need to work together to make things better for women everywhere!!” Oh sure, that’s what they say! But when it comes down to it, they want more benefits for mommies and parents and they want more discounts for families and they want everything family (ie child) friendly and then even when they pass around the pointless platitudes, it’s for mommies only. Suddenly they don’t care about women sticking together. There are not sending messages to all women saying things like:

Sometimes you just need to hear it… You are a beautiful woman, inside & out. You are an exquisite lady, who can make a way out of no way,YOU ARE A GREAT PERSON!!! You are doing a fantastic job and are very loved!!! ♥♥♥♥♥ Post this on the wall of 10 women- women who always put their loved ones first and who balance it all! I just did….

You know? Don’t get me wrong, it would still be pointless, but it’s just typical of them. As far as they are concerned, only moms count! Which is exactly why childfree women don’t feel much (if any) solidarity with women who have kids. Every chance they get they exclude us, then turn around and bitch at us for not doing more to ease their burdens. Gee, I wonder why we don’t?

And finally, just for fun, I have to show you this post over on Lamebook that Stepher showed me and totally cracked me up. It’s the first one. Go read and enjoy.